Fixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts Book Available

Fixing the Feng Shui in My ShortsFixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts: A Year of Brainsick Tweets From a Naive Idiot is a book for readers with short attention spans who like to laugh at inappropriate things. At times bawdy and sometimes naughty, it is a compilation of tweets and other posts (with pictures!) about some of my unbelievable experiences in the past year.

You’ll read all about my strange menagerie of pets (both animals and plants), my frustrating interactions with family and inanimate objects, and my many attempts to contribute to this great planet with my unusual inventions and ideas.

The book contains bizarre adult situations, naughty language, and implied sexual situations with a pumpkin.

Purchase the book at Amazon (Kindle, MOBI format) or Barnes and Noble (Nook, EPUB) or Smashwords (EPUB format).

If you don’t have a Kindle or nook or any other ereader, or want to read ebooks on other devices (e.g. Android phone or tablet, iPad, iPhone, Mac, Windows PC or tablet, BlackBerry, or Windows Phone, et al.), you can download and install the following reading apps:

Amazon Kindle

Kugelmass Issue #2

Kugelmass Issue #2Everybody’s favorite literary humor journal is out with a new issue – Kugelmass Issue #2! This issue has quite an impressive lineup: Aimee Bender, Yoni Brenner, Ellen Ferguson, William Giraldi, Ben Greenman, Dan Kennedy, Daniel Nester and many more! (Full disclosure: I contributed in a tiny way; I was only given space at the bottom of the pages).

For more information (including the editor’s note) and to purchase, go to

My Funny Valentine – The Book

My Funny Valentine
I'm in a book, y'all

[UPDATED 02.08.11 – See below]

A literary aphrodisiac! (Read more below).

[UPDATED 12.09.11 – See below]

Do you need a stocking stuffer that will cause you to laugh until February? Here’s the book for you. I contributed an essay “Presents of Mine” to the anthology, which features stories and essays from a lot of funny people. More information about the book and contributors can be found here:

You can buy the book online at the following sites:


Barnes and Noble

Powell’s Books

BUT WAIT! For all my friends reading this post, or anybody who stumbled upon it with the search terms “man choking another man,” who are interested in a copy, contact me using my contact form or by sending an e-mail to danburt[at]gmail[dot]com for a very special deal.

UPDATE 12.09.11My Funny Valentine is now available as an ebook. You can download the book at the following links:



At SmashWords, you can download the book for the following formats:

Apple iPad/iBooks, Nook, Sony Reader, Kobo, and most e-reading apps including Stanza, Aldiko, Adobe Digital Editions, Kindle, others.

As with my previous offer, if you are interested in a copy, contact me by using my contact form or by sending an e-mail to danburt[at]gmail[dot]com for a very, very, very special deal.

[UPDATED 02.08.11]

Studies have shown that humor is the only aphrodisiac that is 100% effective (look it up on the science part of the Internet). My Funny Valentine is full of laugh-out-loud humor, so much so, we cannot guarantee your safety from your partner’s* ravenous labido if this book is read by them or you read it out loud to them. So if you want to make that special day extra special, this is the perfect sexy gift.

*My Funny Valentine is hilarious when read alone, too!