Dan likes to read a lot. In fact, you could call him a voracious reader. You could call him an ardent bibliophile, but not so loud because he suspects it is illegal in his home state of Alabama, where he currently lives underground with his wife and two sons.
Not only is Dan imbued with fancy book learnin’ junk, he’s also quite experienced in the way of the world. He was a member of a special unit of the U.S. Air Force during the Reagan Revolution, patrolling the jungles of north Florida protecting America from pygmy rattlesnakes and skinks. When his military career ended, Dan became a successful CEO of a phrenology busking business outside a local Chick-fil-A, having only recently retired with a coffee can full of change after being physically removed from the property. He has served as an expert witness in several of his own state and federal trials resulting in a “Not Guilty” verdict (or hung jury) in 42 percent of the cases.
Dan is a comedy writer and the creator of the humor website Captain Canard. You can follow him on Twitter @danburt.